i am struck by the Psalmist mentions of loving the Lord's commands, laws, decrees, statutes, rules, etc.
it almost makes me wonder, is he trying to convince himself he really loves the Lord's laws? have you ever felt that way? have you ever tried to convince yourself of something you ultimately knew was good for you, but had a really hard time acting on? surely we can all think of things we know we shouldn't do but we do anyhow because in the moment it feels/tastes/looks so good.
as i read Psalm 119 in the New Century Version, i finally came across verse 131 and felt more at ease. finally, the Psalmist was speaking my language. it reads:
"i am nearly out of breath.
i really want to learn your commands."
we all want to obey. we want to know the right thing to do. we want to follow God and reap all the benefits. we want badly to draw nearer and nearer to God and godly living. sometimes, we get in our own way. sometimes, we run after things that aren't good for us and flat out ignore God's commands.
and then, we are nearly out of breath - nearly to the point of having nowhere else to turn - we say, "ok God, i guess i'll give you a chance."
we cannot do this thing called "life" on our own. we need God's commands because they give us life. read Psalm 119 and see how many times the Psalmist links God's rules, commands, decrees - God's Word - to LIFE. God's rules give us life; help us live an abundant life.
so i conclude: Lord, help us - make us - to WANT to WANT to learn your commands.