Hope and Fear

Had a strange incident occur today.  I was having coffee and catching up with another member of our church staff at Starbucks.  We were in the middle of sharing prayer requests and about to pray – we were the only people in Starbucks at the time – when a man walks around the corner and asks, “What’s going on guys?” 

Neither of us knew said man.

He then says, “Do you guys have jobs?”

Strange question.

I respond in typical Chad McDaniel smart-aleck fasion, “Nope, just hanging out!”

To which he says, “You and 47% of Americans who are on welfare.  Can you believe that?  47% are on welfare and living off the rest of us.  Seriously though, where do you guys work?”

We admitted that we’re pastors, which really got him going.  Now, he didn’t get fired up about Christianity or the problem with the Church today.  Nope.  Instead, he told us that churches, pastors in particular, really need to take a stand these days.  We need to get more political and tell everyone that if we don’t take action soon, we’re going to lose our freedoms and we’re going to be persecuted by our government.  This was important to him.  So important that he interrupted two dudes drinking Starbucks about to pray.

Now, I’m NOT writing about politics.  This is not my time to critique what he said.  What I realized as he went on and on is that he is afraid.  His politics are based on FEAR.  His life is based on fear.  Sure, he was passionate - he was trembling as he spoke.  He is afraid, and this bothered, frustrated, and in the end, angered me a lot.

Why?  Because this man also admitted he was a Christ-follower and attends a well-known church in our community.  That being said, I have to ask, “What is he so afraid of?”  What are he, and others like him on either side of the political aisle who claim Christ, afraid of?  Honestly.

Is our faith so shaky, so flimsy, so pathetic that a government’s policies would instill fear in us?  I’m not being naïve.  I’m being serious. Governments have tried to stifle Christ in the past and governments will do the same in the future, and yet the Church lives on.  The Church, Jesus Christ, the Triune God, is bigger than any government in any time and in any place.  Do we believe it?

I asked myself, "Where is this guy’s hope?"  Is his hope in Christ – the one who has “overcome the world”?  Didn’t seem like it.  Jesus talks about love casting out fear.  Jesus talks about overcoming the world. 

Will we believe Jesus?  Seriously.  Can we believe Jesus’ words and reject fear mongering?

As for me, call it naïve, call it what you will, but I really don’t care about the 2012 election.  I’m tired of the fear mongering.  I’m tired of people telling me we need more guns, we need less guns, or we need different guns so that our government won’t rise up against us.  I’m tired of the nonsense.  I choose to believe Jesus.  I choose to trust him.  I choose to believe that Jesus truly has overcome the world, defeated death in rising from the dead, and can deliver us from all kinds of evil – even evil that may or may not come from politicians and broken policies.  I choose to believe that THIS changes everything.  It changes the way we live; the way we interact with people; the way we talk about policies and politics.  Jesus' resurrection from the dead changes everything.  It FREES us from FEAR.  It GIVES us HOPE.  Will we believe it?  Will we live it?  Will we be so passionate about HOPE that we will stop two dudes drinking coffee and tell them about something that really matters; that is, will we tell someone about Jesus?

I leave you with the words of a classic hymn:

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

"You're Not Special" - Really?

Maybe you've heard about this recent high school graduation speech gone viral; the one where the teacher says, "You're not special!"

In case you missed it, here are two links:
1) Full speech (almost 13 minutes)
2) CNN short report (about 2 minutes)

Part of me gets it - today's youth have inflated self-egos and that makes some of them really hard to be around.  We all have a little sense that the world revolves around me, but for many students today that attitude is on steroids!

Another part of me is frustrated by his comments - I keep hearing that today, like never before, kids are alone, without adult support, and in need of people to tell them, "You ARE special."

What's the truth?

I read about "helicopter parents" talking on the phone with their college aged children 6 or 7 times a day!  Yet I know kids who have zero parental support and are trying to navigate the waters of life after high school on their own.

What's the truth?

Are kids more pumped up on self-esteem than ever?  Well, yes!  But are kids more alone than they've ever before?  Well, I guess I'd say yes to that too!

The Sticky Faith folks are pushing for churches to get more adults involved in the lives of our kids, and I'm pushing for the same thing - for more adults to be present to tell kids, "God loves you; you are special."

There is a balance to all of this that is found in that tough biblical concept of speaking the truth in love.  Students need to know that when they fail, and there are times they need to fail, it's going to be ok.  We are there for them.  God has not abandoned them.  And they need to know that when they succeed, we are proud of them.  They need to know they are special - but special because God has knit them together, and God has given them gifts to use for His glory and our neighbor's good.

So what do you think?  How would you have reacted as a parent to this speech?  How would you have reacted as a student?

why WILL we worship?

Timely piece written by David Lose that you can read here.  It’s really about the future of the church as it pertains to worship, and whether the so-called next generation will continue showing up every Sunday like their parents and grandparents did if things don’t change.  Just to let you know how relevant this article is, you should know I've had conversations about this very topic about 3 times in the last week alone.  And all 3 have been with people of different ages and church backgrounds.

Two paragraphs in particular caught my attention, though the entire article is worth a read:

We need to rethink how we “do church” in relation to a changed cultural context where fewer and fewer people go to church just because their parents did. Instead, people want church participation to mean something. They want, in other words, to get something out of it. 

There’s little doubt that this represents a generational sea change. If I were to ask my parents whether “church worked for them,” they would likely not understand the question. They didn’t expect church to work. Or, more accurately, they went to church out of a sense of faithfulness. That’s just what you did on Sunday morning. Sure, sometimes it was more uplifting and inspiring than others, but that wasn’t the point. They didn’t go with the primary expectation that church would “meet their needs,” but rather attended out of a mixture of faith, habit, and duty. 

I have tons of questions regarding this topic, and I think that's where we are and need to be right now; that is, we need to be asking questions.  And we cannot fear the answers.  Are we willing to “rethink” church?  Are we willing to do things differently so that the next generation will choose worship over all the other really cool, fun, important things to do in the world today? (I’m not being sarcastic; there are plenty of really cool things people can do on Sunday mornings that don’t involve church!)  Will the generations that show up faithfully, out of habit, faith, and duty, be willing to give a little in order that the next generation might feel empowered and heard?  Finally - well barely finally, the list of questions could go on and on - what is the change that will make church mean something to those disillusioned with church? 

Here is the area I’m wrestling with – if church matters, and gathering as the body of Christ matters, why is it so hard to compel people to place value on attending church?  I don’t think the issue is that people are walking away from faith per se, but that they are walking away from the church as an institution.  Church programs are still relatively well attended, but the value placed on Sunday morning worship is definitely on the decline.  And the answer, I believe, isn’t going to be found in simply making worship more exciting, dynamic, or stylistically palatable.  It’s somewhere else.  Where?  Well, that’s the million dollar question!

I’m with Lose – I’m excited to see what it will look like to worship and be in community with a group of people who truly want to be there – not out of obligation, guilt, or duty – but because church is like breathing; it’s something we can’t live without.  

There is really only one place to start when it comes to tackling this tough topic – we must begin to LISTEN and try our best to withhold judgment on a group of people who love Jesus, are are at the least interested in spirituality, but just don’t value attending church in its current form.  Are we willing to listen?  Are we willing to process what we hear and do something that makes people want to worship God together?  Or is this just an issue of a generation that is selfish and hard-hearted?  So many questions, and too few answers.  That's why I'm convinced listening is the only way forward.

Story

Watch this short video with Ken Burns explaining the power of story.



What can we learn as those telling The Story of God and the world?  How can we, or do we, use "positive manipulation" in our telling of the Gospel story?  It seems strange to use the word "manipulation," but isn't that what we want?!  We want people to respond; to be captivated; to be so moved and caught up in the Gospel story that they put their trust in God!

Feedback.  What else caught your attention in this video?

Grief - Part II

How do we help kids process grief?

In the Nooma video, “Matthew,” which addresses grief and loss, Rob Bell says,

“I do know that you and I have choices about the kinds of people we are; the kinds of people we’re becoming.  We have a choice whether or not we’re going to become bitter.”

We have a choice.  This is what we see in Job.  Job’s family is dead, and he responds, “The Lord gave and Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”  A chapter later his wife tells him to “curse God and die,” and Job responds, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”  Job mourns.  He wails.  He tears his robe.  He weeps.  He grieves, openly.  Job is angry.  Yet Job joins those in Scripture who choose not to become bitter with God.

We look at the Psalms.  Psalm 13 asks the question, “Where are you Lord?”  Wow!  I remember being shocked reading that for the first time and realizing I was allowed to express my anger at God and not be immediately removed from the earth.  Even the Psalmist, who feels the enemy all around, feels death on his doorstep as the enemy approaches, says,

“But I trust in your unfailing love.
            My heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the LORD’s praise,
            for he has been good to me.”

Really?!  My enemy is all around.  Where are you God?  How long will you forget me?  How long will you hide from me?  But I choose to trust in you and worship you, for you have been good to me.

And finally, there’s Jesus.  John 11:35 says, simply and profoundly, “Jesus wept.”  God weeps.  Jesus responds to the news that his friend Lazarus has died; he empathizes with his friend, and Lazarus’ sister, Mary; he openly weeps.  He weeps even though he knows he is going to bring Lazarus back to life.  He weeps with his friends over the death of their brother and friend.  It is appropriate to weep.  It ok to cry.  It is normal to have emotions.  But we have a choice.  Will we become bitter?  Will we “curse God and die?”

Last night was powerful.  I could go on, but I’ve already written enough.  If you stayed with me this long, thank you.  I hope for those reading this you can make yourself available to our youth, and more importantly, you can LISTEN.  Withhold judgment.  Bite your tongue.  Listen.  Respond with compassion.  Respond with love.  Let your presence speak more than 1000 words. 

To any adult reading this:  Our kids are hurting, and they need loving, safe adults who are willing to be “dumped” on and keep coming back for more.  If this is you, if you are willing to step into this area of need, be willing to do a few things:

1) Sit in silence - Listen.  Some say the worst thing Job’s friends did was open their mouths.  They came.  They sat with Job for 7 days and 7 nights.  No one said a word to him.  And then they started talking.  Why?  They felt as thought they needed to set Job straight; to help him move beyond his grief; to help him process his grief.  They talked.  They should have kept quiet.

2) Admit you don’t have the answers.  It speaks volumes to kids when adults can be honest and admit that we too have more questions than answers when it comes to difficult issues like death and dying.   As much as we want to, we cannot fix the situation.  Instead of being paranoid or freaking out about this fact, take comfort, for kids are looking for a quick fix.  They will appreciate your honesty and listening ear more than they will appreciate your attempts to “fix” the situation.

3) Pray, and expect God to answer.  God’s Word promises peace that passes understanding to those who pray (Phil 4:6-7), and comfort for those who mourn (Matt 5:4).  Be ready to be crushed a little yourself, and be ready to feel God’s healing, comforting touch.  Pray boldly.  Pray specifically.  Pray for

4) Help them Hope.  In the end, kids need to know that God is present, God has not left.  Help them hope.  Help them identify the times in their life where they were certain of God’s presence and knew his love.  Help them remember these times.  Help them hold on to these memories – the memories that give them hope.  Remind them of God’s future as described in Revelation 21 – that future where there will be no more tears and no more mourning.  Talk about your hope.  Tell them why you have hope in spite of the craziness of the world.  You do have hope, right?!

Grief - Part I

Last night’s conversation at youth group confirmed what we all already know:  death and dying, loss and sadness – it sucks.

There have been numerous deaths in our community in the last month – both in our church and in our county.  Two teenage boys from the same school district drowned within two weeks of each other.  Two amazing men of faith from our congregation succumbed to illness and cancer.  Death and dying sucks.  There’s really no nice way to describe the feeling. 

Last night was tough, but it was important; it was important for our students to have opportunity to vent, talk, and for others to listen.  It was important because it confirmed 2 things about today’s teens:

1) There is a shortage of adults who are willing to really LISTEN.  I was impressed with my team of volunteers last night.  Last night wasn’t really fair to them.  I sort of threw them to the wolves, so to speak.  They weren’t prepared ahead of time for the topic.  Some weren’t aware of the latest tragedies.  They sort of got dumped on last night, but in some ways it was absolutely appropriate.  We had to address the pain, the reality of death, the elephant in the room.  My volunteers were rock stars last night!  They listened.  Kids shared about the lack of safe places where they could be heard.  They shared that there were plenty of people telling them how to feel or saying, “I’m sure you feel like this, and that’s normal, but tomorrow everything will be ok.”  There are plenty willing to say, “It’s all going to be ok.  This is God’s plan.  He’s in a better place.”  The list of niceties and platitudes goes on and on.  And there are fewer willing to listen – willing to listen to kids who are hurting, confused, angry, pissed off that there friends are gone.

2) Kids are HURTING.  A few years ago Chap Clark wrote a book based on his interaction with teens entitled, Hurt.  The title of the book gives away the conclusion of his research:  Kids are HURTING.  There is great sadness, sorrow, depression, anxiety, confusion, and anger in our youth today.  Families are in crisis.  Loved ones are diagnosed with and dying from cancer.  Almost everyone knows a family member or loved one who has gone off to Iraq or Afghanistan.  There are many students who have lived through a parent or both parents losing a job and the uncertainty and fear that can accompany that reality.  The world is messy.  The world is confusing.  Kids are hurting.  Enough said.

Wrestle with those ideas.  Tomorrow I'll post a follow up with some conclusions/suggestions.

conform or transform?

Following up my last past, the “Demise of Guys,” where a commenter asked, “What are verses that can help with this issue?”  Another suggested Romans 12, and since I had a post sitting in my brain featuring Romans 12, leggo!

What I love about Romans 12:1-2 is Paul’s juxtaposition of the words “conform” and “transform.”  Do not conform; instead, be transformed.  This, I would argue, is the heart of Christian living.  Don’t conform.  Be transformed. 

In recent years, the hot topic in youth ministry has been the fact that too many students are graduating high school and leaving church behind.  The numbers reported are alarming; it is a legitimate issue.  And even if it’s only 20-30% of high school graduates who are leaving the church, I believe that’s too high.

Two of the books I’ve read on this topic specifically address how parents can model faith and walk with their teens in order to produce, as one book suggests, Sticky Faith – a faith that lasts.  Isn’t that what we’re after in youth ministry – faith that lasts?  The consensus in these two books (Parenting Beyond Your Capacity and Sticky Faith) is that too many Christian parents are settling for the appearance of faith in their children.  That is, they are happy so long as their children conform to the rules of Christianity and play the part.  Upon graduating, these students quickly find new roles and new parts to play.   In the same way, youth ministry is to blame when we teach “behavior modification” rather than transformation in the likeness of Christ. 

We are teaching conformity rather than transformation, and conformity doesn’t always stick.   Here is where I pick up my argument from the beginning:  The Christian faith isn’t so much about “conforming” as it is “transforming.”  I believe there is a difference, and that difference speaks to issues present in my previous post on the “demise of guys.” 

Paul says, “Do not conform to the patterns of this world.”  Resist the temptations the world provides!  Flee from evil.  So we in the church say, “Here are some new patterns to which you need to conform.”  On one hand that doesn’t sound so bad, but conformity isn’t the same as transformation, is it?  The Gospel is about transformation!  A relationship with Christ is about being changed, so that the believer can “test and approve God’s will.”  Conformity is about doing things without really understanding the meaning or reason behind the doing.  This may be fine for the beginner in Christ, but transformation is the goal. 

My desire for my students is that they would resist evil desires and sinful living not because of sheer determination or “conformity” to a religious code, but because their desires have been transformed to imitate those of Christ.  My hope is that the student confronted with temptation would begin to naturally resist the patterns of the world because she has been transformed and trusts in the power of the Holy Spirit to deliver her from these temptations.  

The power of the Gospel story is that Jesus death and resurrection has made change in the world.  Things aren’t the way they used to be.  Death is defeated.  Sin is overcome.  And the power that raised Christ from the dead is available to those who seek God.  Conformity says, “Keep trying to live up to the rules, be a good person, and hopefully you’ll learn self-control and earn salvation.”  Transformation says, “Salvation has already occurred, Jesus already did the work of defeating sin, now submit your life to Christ and let Him do the work of changing your heart and mind.”

There is a difference, and it matters.